1.9.8.3

I have always raced through life
Hoping to catch d answers on d way
But only I crossed countless questions
A question to question... suffocates
I tried to steal life forwarding
But slowly it pulls me backward
I flee d scratches in my hand
So clearly I can read my palm
Thirteen, Eighteen come Twenty-two
Older years denied long confusion
But when I thought I never understand life
It drives on to understand my ways

repost fr previous date : tinikyzda 9/3/2006 - tinikyzda 9/3/2006 -

Hasta La Proxima Vez

A nostalgic feeling over last night's dinner with my "best" bestfriend. Then on the next table one of the cast of x-men (trying to cover-up his face with the table glass divider) with his then girlfriend wannabe, but now his gotta-be wify..Plus our winning over those mouth watering cravings --, and just eat as in FOR ME was "a lot" more.. Ending our night from those old rhyming stories of so seven years way back.




The sad thing is that we need to say goodbye, so to end the night.


... days really went so fast... that in whatever way we catch things up and after all the scratches we made, we still find our selves in a new horizon and each leading to different path.


But, what's good with this goodbye is that we're given a chance to say "Hi" again,,,


For, as both of us would always say before (and as always).. Hasta La Próxima Vez!

(-_-)

Taking Trip to Puerto G.

Had my first ever nature and fun tripping to Puerto Galera on March 20-21, 2010.. It wasn't peak season yet but the following week will be the start of the summer hike rates. So I was advised by Ms. Edna (my local  contact) to take my booking ahead before the peak season.

But I know u can make bola •v• Ms.Edna (#09185207586) so your on your way to get fair discounts for lodging if ever you got your schred's cleared on a peak season.. I got the ROOM for PHP1500(1 night for 24 hrs) so that's 12:00nn-12nn(d following day), but I get additional 3 hrs stay for free (that should be PHP100 / per additional extended hrs).. 1500 for a room that is really more of a transient for 4 pax, not to mention it's airconditioned.

I stayed at Sheryll’s Inn it has 2beds both are queen size.. Take note: It is more advisable to get there as groups because rooms are cheaper as you get a family room and you would all share with the stuff to be paid. .. I can actually get the room for 1k a night if I would stay for another 1 day or if I will be there during the weekdays ( that was Ms.Edna's bargain).

Let's go to other fees to be  considered. Sa fare fr Manila, • Buendia to Batangas Port Php166.50 for the Bus fare Boat ticket fr • Batangas to White Beach(Puerto) cost PHP450(balikan) (Php250 one way) .. additional PHP50 for • Environmental fee,, PHP50 again for • Terminal fee.. then fr • White beach bound to Batangas Port another PHP10 for Exit fee.. (Again these figures are base on this day and year 2010)

**these are in different payment booths so break ur money and break your groups if your a group and line-up at the same time in different payment booths (if naghahabol kayo ng earlier take off)..

I had my departure fr BUENDIA at 7AM then at around 9am^_^ I was already checking in at the Batangas PORT. Time was just enough to work on my ticket payments then TAKEOFF fr the port is 9:45AM, I think the next take off is 11AM (I was actually expecting to meet the next take off  upon my review with the transportation allotment via buendia-batangas, luckily the traffic was cleared that morning). So by 9:45take off - ARRIVAL is 11am at the WHITE BEACH so allotted time is like two hours.

All the activities are either expensive or affordable, depending on your bargaining skills with the tourist guides and marketers or what we sometime call the "tawad" talent ^_^

Like SNORKELING for 2 is PHP1500 still not the cheapest rate thou,, but we agreed to the price of PHP600 each in a group of ten.. (just make your self friendly so u can hitch into groups if you're a loner tourist just like me)

Kaso di natuloy,coz the next day we opted to visit the
ANINUAN Falls(entrance is P20),, so trecking and pisikalan ang labanan pla dun before mo maakyat ung falls heheh price for this package is PHP300 (package), that’s our fee to our TOUR GUIDE Mang DELIO(#09214740341-he’s also the Boatman sa snorkeling),
there is a TRICYCLE FEE of PHP200(Balikan fr likod ng White beach to entrance ng forest). No available food up the mountain and the falls so bring as much as you needed. There were some nice people who shared their food in my growling tummy ^__^

There is a Banana boat for PHP200
Jetski I think is PHP3500/hr

Massage PHP200
Hairdo (braid ba un???) PHP200 din
Henna for PHP100minimun

Food are also affordable i think just the same price in Manila mall foodcourts
..
Public CR cost(P10_ along d beach - beside Pizza Hut and at the back of GarlicRice All U want).. or you can opt to go back to your own room to use your facilities.. Or hanapin nyo lang ung White beach Resort dun lang din banda Free restroom dun, pra sana sa customers nila pro wla nmang peaker.

then lastly just enjoy ur vacai, be nice to everyone there coz they're awesomely nice^_^ and steal a lot of scenes and take them home with your cam, that would be incredibly amazing years from now :)

Ang Dating Daan ..Namin (80's baby)

Habang umiinom ng chokolate ramdam ko ang init nito na di napapawi sa simpleng pag-ihip lang. Ang pait at tamis nito may dinadalang larawan ng nakaraan. Inumpisahan ko sa isang tanong..

"nagluluto ba kayo ng champorado?", haay ako talagang namimiss ko na iyong pagluluto talaga ng ganun sa Bulakan.

"Oo nman", si Kuya Rey. 

"Madalas yan habang umuulan tapos madalas pa noon magbrown-out, doon kami kakain malapit sa bintana yung tipong may hamog na medyo pumapasok pa sa loob ng bahay ninyo." Parang sa kwento niya, katabi nya ako doon nakikikain kasi ganun din mismo ang pangyayari sa alaala ko nung mga bata pa kami ng mga kapatid ko.

dagdag nman ni Macoy, "tapos gagawa pa kami ng yema." "paulit-ulit yon hanggang ma-perfect nmin yon(ibig sabihin napatigas yung yema)."

Ako nman bumida ulit, "e ito, yung polboron nakagawa ba kayo nun?" tumatawa ako habang nagtatanong, naaalala ko kasi yun iyong gatas at asukal na paghahaluin mo tapos pipilitin mong magkorteng polboron gaya ng nabibili mo sa tindahan. At nasa usapang gatas nlang din lang, nagbidahan naman kami ng kung gaano kadaming pulbong gatas(halimbawa nito birtch tree o bear brand) ang pinupudpod nmin sa ibabaw ng champorado tapos kakainin nmin yon ng hindi hinahalo. Hmmm masarap talaga. Isa lang ang hindi ko masakyan hanggang ngayon, iyon yung champorado na pinaparesan ng isdang tuyo na alam kong marami sa inyo na ito ang pinagpapareha.

Paglipas ng ilan pang kwentuhan, isa pa itong eksayting na tanong ko sa kanila. Itatanong ko na din sa inyong mga nagbabasa.

 "Naalala nyo pa ba yung free na chikadiz sa chiskerls?"

Si Macoy napaisip pa, pero natuwa talaga ako kasi pare-pareho kaming naalala pa iyon. O hindi mo maalala? Hindi ko din maalala iyong pangalan ng chiskerls na iyon, pero ang nasa alaala ko nasa paketeng asul at minsan pula iyon. Pero ang eksayting nga doon para sa aming mga bata noon ay iyong free na "chikadiz". Eto iyong maliit na makulay na goma, parang jelly at pa igloo ang korte. Pagibinaligtad mo ang porma at kasunod ay bibitawan ng biglaan tatalbog iyon. Heheh ang simple ng katuwaan nmin noh?.

Isa pang ipinaalala ko ay iyong tao-tauhan, minsan monster o dragon pa iyon. Jelly color din iyon na gawa sa goma. Ang sabi ng tindero kapag ibinabad iyon ng magdamag sa tubig kinabukasan lalaki ito. At para mas epektib iyong "marketing" niya, mayroong planggana na may tubig sa tabi niya. Nakalublob duon iyong tao-tauhan na aba malaki nga. At salamat kay kuya Rey nalaman ko na ngayon na yung mga ganun pla sa planggana ng tindero ay ibinabad na talaga ng ganoon kalaki. (loser).

At ang isang haylayt ng "dating-daan" nmin... humawak muna kayo sa kinauupuan niyo lalo na kung nasa edad 20-40 kayo. Sigorado kasi na ang bawat isa sa atin ay nag-alaga ng "kisses". "Alaga" kasi padadamihin mo iyon. Ilalagay mo sa bulak para manganak ng maradi. At kung gahaman ka sa pagdami ng alaga mong kisses, may teknik pa na pupolbohan mo iyong mga iyon bago ibalot sa bulak. Hindi ko lang talaga alam kung nanganganak nga ba talaga iyong mga kisses ko kasi sa sobrang dami noon hindi ko mabigyan ng oras na bilangin pa iyon. Pero sige parin ako sa pagsakay sa mga ritwal na paglalagay sa bulak.

Dumako nman kami sa larong kalye. Ngayon kasi series ng manga magazine ang sinusubaybayan ng mga kabataan. Noon iyong "text" de-numero iyon pagnapagsunod sunod mo ang bilang magkakaroon ka ng libreng kwento tungkol sa "now showing" sa mga sinehan. Kadamaikling scene nina sharon at rudy susubaybayan mo na parang komiks. Pero 'di ganoon kadaling kumpletohin iyon. Kailangan mong ilaban ng pitik sa kalye iyong mismo mong text para mapadami iyon.  Malas mo kung ibang pelikula ang naibigay sayo ng kalaro mo, heheh.

At ang sad ending ng isa pang laruan ay ito. Ang dating pagulong-gulong sa kalsada o sa sahig ng bahay niyo na "jolens" ay iniimbak nlang sa magagarang plorera ngayon kasama ng bulaklak. Ito na ang nagsisilbing lupa at pandagdag palamuti sa salas niyo. Eh dati pag nakita iyon ng nanay mong nakabalandra sa salas  eh binti mo ang mapapalamutian ng nanay mo dahil sa palo ng tingting.

Pang huling isasalo ko sa inyo mula sa aming kwentong dating daan: Slumbook turned  Friendster. Dati matindi ang eksaytment na hulaan kung sino nga ba sa inyo ang crush ng pinaka gwapo na pinag-sagot mo sa slumbook mo. Basta sa tanung na describe him/her? ang nakasagot eh: with fair complexion, kahit sobra ka sa itim kikiligin ka pa din kasi may mataas ang lebel ng fighting spirit mo na kasama ka sa fair complexion skin. Ngayon sa friendster hulaan mo nlang sa 6 na featured friends nya kung sinu doon dahil malamang sa hindi naroon iyon. Tapos ang pinakaaabangan mong pahina sa Slumbook ay ang "dedication". Yeeheeeee for sure may 14344 doon iyong mga nagkakagustuhan at sabay e-wiwish mo pa na sana hindi iyon ma-decode ng kaeskwela mo(bwahahah)(u wish!). Sa bagong teknolohiya ngayon literal na "twinkle in your eyes" ang makikita mo dahil sa testimonial o guestbook ng inteernet account mo mayroong glitter text na nagsasabing "I miss u, love u, mwah-mwah, hugsss"...

Siguro ang mga kabataan ngayon malaki ang bilib sa teknolohiya at globalisasyon, dahil inangat sila nito sa lipunan at nailigtas sa "jologs" na gawi namin noon. Pero sa lahat ng mga pinagdaanan nmin noon masasabi ko na naging napakasaya ng kabataan ko. Kinabahan ako sa maraming posibilidad na pagagalitan ako ng magulang ko dala ng kyoryosidad, pinawisan at napagod sa paghahanap ng ibat ibang natatanging kulay ng kisses , umiyak dahil sa pagbaligtad ng kuya ko ngchikadiz sa pusod ko at dumikit sa loob ng pusod iyong itim na dumi ng goma, nasugatan sa kagat ng aso dahil sa larong kalye at wala pa nmang glutathione soap noong araw kaya magpahanggang ngayon may iniwang marka ng katangahan ang kagat na iyon sa kaliwang binti ko.. Pero hindi iyon naging kakulangan para lalo akong tumibay, maging madiskarte at matiisin at gumandang matagumpay. Heheh.

Dating daan mo rin ba ito? Kung nabibilang ka sa amin, sige nga ano ang isinagot mo sa tanong ng slumbook na who is your first love? at panu mo binibilang ang text mo?

 photos attached

ALL-LEAVE-ber's

   

 

Twas the night with mt old friends on a free word of "TGIF",,, we lush our selves with fine dine-in(should I call it that way?) of a hmmm?? okay tasty treat at Oliver's Super Sandwiches (loc. at 2f Megamall bldg.A), where we had our unfair share of unwanted organic creature( maybe b'coz of the vegies included into the bacon sandwich). Anyway, damage has been done and with guilt in my self now that we did not bother to inform the service crew about that tingy. Okay it's more acceptable and maybe less ewee than those that the fear factor sixtig had eaten on their challenges, lol. But what about the review over the net that goes: Oliver's Super Sandwiches offer a clean and healthy lifestyle in dining with a wide range of wholesome product choice from inspired sandwiches to tempting baked potatoes, pastas and freshly made salads.

After almost an hour of the side bar knick-knacks over our platers and of course "pictorial", which is one great part of this get together thing. We walk our feet door-to-door doing window shopping (my hatest part). Getting my eyes soak over the guy-to-wear stuff. Oh well, it's the guy thing matters then since I am with male friends. Them, getting my opinion doesn't trouble me at all, since I love doing match making of people and d'stuff. But a long walk surely bothers me b'coz of my condition (what else but health issues).

Thank God the mall sent a feel of near to closing time. Major lights were turned off, some store closes their doors and people became in a hurry mode. Heheh, well we can't hurry-up. I'm not good in the application of the word R-U-S-H! Kuya Rey was even holding both my side shoulder while we get-in down the escalator as if he was carrying the whole of my weight.  So for me not to really spoil their night, getting their eyes on me somehow could also feel my aura, "tired" as I am. I ask them if we could at least seat at the open donut shop for a while just to get back some air.

A set of hot chocolate and two pancake donuts was serve to each of us (one at a time). Sweet, lushious and really smell delicious. One thing is not in place. The theme of our meal, it's soo soo "good morning dear".  Heheh..  But still it doesn't spoil our night. We had a good last chitchats until we head our way home and give each other a mwah! mwah! beso...

The end.  No, here's some part of our cutest and remarkable kwentuhan. (click the link).

Photos attached

TOOTHACHE

I had been enduring a severe toothache and had been self-medicating with Mefenamic Acid and Amoxicillin Trihydrate, both 500 mg. My current situation prevented me from doing my usual "to do" here in my office. Who in this world can talk in front of your boss and do a lot of pc assignments while suffering from severe toothache?

From a short while, i stop and realized. There is much deeper pain in me that cannot be endure with anything else. I am broken in heart and my entire being. One thing is whole in me. I can still love him back completely, despite of all the thing that happened between the two of us. I wanted to hate this feeling, but this is the only wonderful thing left in me now. L O V E  a n d   D R  E A M S.

I got the phone handset, dialed his home number. Bingo! he was the one who answered in the other line.

I did it with intention of hoping to talk to him, once again.  But I did not say a word, he asked maybe three time if who was the caller. Still I found my self in silence, a lot of things keep coming back in my mind. Everything wanted to burst out but exploded only in silence. The only thing that came out was tears. I missed him so much. So much that I could only wish him to be back with me. (-_-)

PINK's FALL OF GRRRiN

I. 

Unlike lovers (as to what I also quoted from “Iyang Kaibigan Ko” blog), there are no break-ups in friendship. 

"We can work things out. I’m still your green friend, photographer, clown and partner in crime. Movie buddy and videoke duet.”111808. This is some part of the message I received from a friend whom for years had made a very special role in my life’s story. My best and greenest chum. Maybe true to some content from his messages that we are only being test by time and circumstances. That I also wanted to inculcate to my mind, since at this point of time my pride is swallowing my entire being. My spirit has being drifted away and just had let my ego to work on in this so called test.

I cannot elaborate more where this all has started.

I might start counting even those instances that had been

put to past or those times that I did not mind his “commitment sicknesses.” Now the “test” came along without any invitation. The past days has been good to us, that we get along as how we always work the day out over our schedules. Until the following day that had been disconcerting for me.

Well, that didn’t actually turned my nerves to crash and get heart harden for him. I just don’t want to easily grant him my “Okay na” mood.

As like the “Bunnz way.” I am attacking his text messages with response that

I know would pissed off his “huge kept patience.” Though were friends for almost

six years now, that bully side of me still works on him. But take note of the saying

“bring home the bacon.” it’s hard for me to do it. Get with you your brightest guess,

why he always end-up to be the winner between our fray.

1.) I easily drop my over-priced leading pride for him “in the name of bestfriendship in the world category,”

2.) he’ll tell me I’m adding up to his worries (ending I'm being the one asking for apology),

3.) he have this “his own green way” of saying the cheesiest sorry especially for you and

4.) “commitment sickness” again & again. And If I can just sue him for committing that crime to a friend, he’s now absolutely convicted with a “double jeopardy” case.

II .

[YOU HAD REACHED YOUR LIMIT ] 

Like the message prompt from the automated teller machine for banking transaction, it was the words that mumbled to my whispering tone voice after reading his message sent last Saturday. The fact that I shouldn’t be there (in the meeting place), because we’re not actually in good terms really turned my pride into a “fried asshole.” But, because of what my professional guardian angel tells my conscience “it’s business as usual.” So I made it to my commitment and asked my mom to dropped me off to Greenbelt for a business meeting sort of like. ONLY, to find out that my not so lovely day would turned out exactly wrecked *&$#@.

Though I rewarded my self of a great shopping that Saturday afternoon until the mall closes (thanks to the mall wide sale in Ayala Center), I only end up looking back to those superb buys and asked my self “haven’t I bought Happiness with me? —I’m broken and so was my pocket.” The only cure for me on that night was to go home in our province and be with my family.

The next day hadn’t turned well, still, though I received a text message from him containing his sort of apology. As I had said earlier, it was wrapped with the cheesiest words “the green way.”

……

Much has been said. I can’t pretend to be like a bottom-less ice tea with no limit of patience or go beyond pretension of not being affected at all. I am locked with this emotion (maybe for such time, i wish) that made me undergo under an emotional depression which I usually encountered during my childhood days. I need to do something, not maybe for friendship but for my self. These can make me whole and/or if not I can never get back to my own again.

One thing strike my mind during several sleepless nights now. I pictured one group scene where everyone joined the fun of defining love.

He said, 

"Love, it is loosing control."

And if I had been force to had my answer laid in the group, i’ll tell them,

“Love, it is compose of respect.”

That would carry and build your character in many principles of life. And that is my life's top principle,   —RESPECT.

Need I say more? like you almost always tell me that you love me (well we know we love each other. we're bestfriends right?).

with that, I rest my case.

______________________________________________________

“It’s sad to know that there won’t be anymore times of texting U like d same old days about me & u, urs & my plans, ur sadness & my fears and even my wicked actions. No more overnights, music & laughters to share w/. Thinking I would be alone or w/ somebody elses side inside d church or d movie house. And those pictures that I love to share & add more would now be going to be old w/ it’s memories... and d hardest part of it is getting my way of putting U out of my head and d thought of it alone—is not only nerve breaking… it's tearing my soul apart.

But I guess that could be my only way so to end d chance of pain. 111808

Will I ever make my day the way I live before? knowing part of my being has now come to missing. A friend whom I always used to share a lot in me and simply that someone I am used to be. (-_-)

Life can’t really be fair as how we all wish it should be.

112108

pink's fall of grrrin

Client Call

A peaceful ending for a day. I had finished three modules today, though I just arrived here in office during lunch time. After stocking my bag inside the locker I rushed to my laptop and start reading my boss email so for me to get my other assignments for today. After doing so, I start to open the finder to start working with the modules that I have to finish.. I unwrapped my take-out order from McDonalds and lushed into the juicy quarter pound burger while customizing the first module that I'm working. Somehow I know it's saving my time and saving my self not to be called by my superior and ear to her "words of wisdom". After a straight six hour work and re-working, voila! I never expect to finished three modules in a day. Maybe I'm starting to recover now from the past dillema that I encountered. There's no text messages that annoys and butt-in with my thoughts. And maybe going to Batangas yesterday for a company project meeting with our client also made a disguise help. We went to Bauang, Batangas to meet the AG&P (Atlantic, Gulf & Pacific) HR Manager and the rest of the officers. After an hour meeting, they led us to see the company's yard and was able to see the actual fabrication of steel. After doing so, they drive us to visit the nearest beach. The air was enticing and though we're not ready to go bathing in the beach our feet indulge with the waves and JUST RELAX with the place is something I would be thankful that I woke up early and join my boss in meeting our client, though I just came from a very late-night org meet-ups..

><(;>

DAMAGED

(-_-)

I haven't so much thoughts in mind now. Very unusual for this "Bunnz" to just be writing a blog with nothing more in her tongue.

I feel so sadden that in an instance there is a big part of my life that has been touched and was damage.

True to it that when you are suffering from what they call it an "emotional depression" you will also going under an impaired stomach or the abnormal functioning of your internal system. Yesterday morning after a two-day straight of no sleep (well i have no insomniac that's for sure) because of the negative feelings that i am handling for such time and this hardly made my thoughts so stressed i did felt a string of a hyper-acidity that keeps pinching inside my flesh and again while trying to move some unjust thing from my body all that had washed out was a droplets of bleed (i had suffered from these disorder several years ago when i had a problem over council and personal conflict). I don't know where to start inviting positive thoughts as how my doctor has advised me to do as part of the therapy when I was in college. I cant barely put down these emotions even for a moment, they are always running and invading my mind(including my heart).. The sad part of this is that I had just returned from work a couple of weeks ago and things are not going so clear now if I am making a good impression with my colleagues like how I used to competing before.

Don't know where this luggage in my mind would soon bring me.

11182008

PILI

Paano nga ba talikuran ang isang

tulad mo

Na sa kahit anung pagkakataon

ay nariyan

Ikaw na siyang sumalo ng ako'y

unang saktan ng pag-ibig

Iniwan niya kong tila kinapos

sa pagpapala

Ngunit nariyan init mong laging

naipadarama sa akin

Buka ng labi mong nagaayang

makalimot

Ligaya at pag-asa dala mo sa

akin

Humihigpit na kapit sa 'yong

namamasang katawan

h'wag sanang mangyari bigla na

lamang dumulas sa 'king palad

Pagkat ang tulad mo'y kailangan ko

higit pa sa lamig ng gabi

Datapwat ganito yaring nadarama

para sa'yo

Lagi na lamang tangka ko'y limutin

at iwan ka

Pero sa sandaling pagtalikod ay

masasaktang muli

At tulad ng dati ikaw at ikaw din

ang tatakbuhan

Sa ligaya, luha ko at tagumpay

Wala kang piniling oras, ikaw ay laging

nakaramay

Tatalikuran ka nga ba o magpapaubaya

na lamang sa'yo

Ikaw nga ba'y kapalaran o iisa ating espiritu

San Mig Light kung ako'y para sa'yo

IKaMPaY Mo!

3/29

SIYA ANG BLESSFRIEND KO

We're friends, best of friends. Not because we always see each other nor we texr more often or we have the same taste in color.
We're bestfriends because we felt we had the best from each other and from our selves.
I have a lot of talking friends whom i share my everyday stories. But when time turns out just to be silent. I remember her hahaha! We speak thru our mind and our soul. We turn to each other when we get our lagguage over flowing. We feel both ok hearing one's stores and then after a while we're better. Though we seldom find time we make sure we'll have thatquality time spending with each other if find one.

Bakit ganun? Because we're different. We run a different world. We just became similar coz we share each other stories. What's my story becomes her story and vise-versa.. My bestfriend, she's a great leader, no one wil;l question it. Her name best explains her character and her devotion. Me? no i even have no patience in talking infront of several people. I hate talking. She knows i don't even give a damn if i don't convince people. Hai naku i can just be good in silly matters.
Opposite attracts daw. Mejo ganun nga siguro.

Iyang Kaibigan Ko

BIERNES bago ang tanghalian umalis siya sa bahay na tinutuluyan ko. Nangako nman siyang babalik din kinabukasan. Pagdating ng Sabado bago magtanghalian naghanda ako ng makakain kabilang siya sa dami niyon. Pagdating ng alas-3 nakatanggap ako ng text mula sa kanya, malalate ng anunsiyo iyong inaantay niyang resulta patugkol sa trabaho. Kaya inisip ko nlang na sa gabihan maghahanda ako ng masarap na ulam. ‘Yung sabi niya noon masarap daw ang pagkakaluto ko. Nilaga.

Alas-8 ng gabi nauna na akong kumain, nanood ng tv – nagpalipas…

Alas-9 pasado nagtext siya. Iyog “jowa” daw niya (running for 2 weeks I guess) nag-aayang makipagkita sa kanya pagkatapos ng inaasikaso niya sa trabaho.

            “Next time nlang yan, umuwi ka nlang dito kasi mejo inaantok na din ako.. pero kwentuhan mo muna ako sa nangyari sa buong araw mo..”

iyan sana ang irereply ko sa text niya. Pero ang pinarating kong mensahe sa kanya…

“ikaw ang bahala”

Isang oras muli ang lumipas, wala nman siyang na-i-text na tumuloy siya sa pagkikita nila. Sumunod may natanggap akong text..

“pauwi na ko dyan”.

Nanatili ako sa harap ng tv, nanonood. Siguro pagkalipas ng limang minuto tumunog muli yung cellphone ko.

            “pasensya na wala kasing dumadaang jeep (sa Ayala Ave.) uuwi nlang ako sa amin late na din kc.”

Sumunod…

“nakasakay na ‘ko ng bus pauwi sa ‘min. tawag ako jan pagdating samin”.

Sumama talaga ang loob ko. Madami akong naisip na bagay. Pero hindi ko nman na i-tinext iyon sa kanya. Sabi ko nlang sa sarili ko sana ‘wag nlang siyang tumawag kasi ayaw ko siyang makausap. Hindi ko rin nman talaga masasabi kung gaano ako nalungkot ng mga oras na iyon…  Aba! Hindi nga tumawag.

Linggo. 

Nag-text siya, nagtatanong kung bakit walang sumasagot ng telepono sa bahay. Buti nlang wala talaga ako ng oras na iyon sa bahay. Nasa Greenbelt ako dumaan ako doon para dumalo ng panghuling misa sa umagang iyon bago tumulak pauwi sa probinsya.

Dalawang lingo ang nakalipas… mahaba na iyon para hindi kami mag-usap, mag-txt mag-email o magkita. Minsan tatawag siya sa bahay pero yung isa kong kaibigan ang ipapakausap ko sa kanya. Sa tono nman ng boses ko sa tuwing ako ang nakasasagot ng tawag nakukubli din sa mga tinig na may pagtatampo ako.

Dalawang lingo nga ang lumipas. Nagkita kaming muli. Nagpunta siya sa bahay, nagover-night dalawa o tatlong gabi. Okey nman kami balik sa mga nakasanayan ng ginagawa. Parang walang nangyari. Nakalimutan ko na rin kasi talaga yung feeling of disappoinment tungkol sa nangyari dalawang lingo na ang nakalipas. Pero siyempre naaalala ko pa rin. At ang totoo ako ang nagpapunta sa kanya sa bahay para dumalaw.

Linggo ulit, nakatakda akong umuwi sa probinsya. Umagang umalis yung isa naming kaibgan. Kaming dalaw naghanda na rin, nagpapasama ako sa kanya sa Greenbelt. Ang sabi ko magggrocery lang kami doon. May mas mahalaga akong ginawa ng mga sumunod na oras kaya naantala ang pagalis namin. Pero aalis pa din kami nagpalipas lang kami ng kaunting sandali.

Bago mag alas-5 gumayak kaming muli. Aalis na talaga kami. Tinanong ko siya kung sasamahan pa ba niya ako sa Greenbelt, tutal meron nmang MRT station o Ayala Ave. na mas magiging kumportable sa kanya pauwi sa kanila. Sabi niya hindi nlang daw para makapagpahinga na din siya dahil maypasok siya kinabukasan (ng alas-9 ng gabi). Ako, hindi na din tumuloy sa Greenbelt. Ang totoo dadalo sana ako doon ng misa at gusto ko siyang isama. Yung maliit na kapilya doon kasing edad ko iyon ( walang koneksyon). Maluwag ang loob ko kapag naroon ako at sumasaya ako sa simpleng presensya ng kapaligiran. Ang gusto ko sana ibahagi yung feeling na iyon sa kanya. Alam ko sa oras na iyon kailangan niya iyon.Hindi ko sinabi yung dahilan ko dahil makailang beses ko na talaga siyang inaayang magsimba pero talagang hindi niya panata iyon. Kaya tumuloy nlang ako sa simbahan sa may plaza malapit sa bahay, doon ako dumalo ng misa.

Pagkatapos ng misa dumaan ako saglit sa botika para sa iilang gamot (hindi rin kasi mabuti ang pakiramdam ko ilang araw na rin) at bumalik na din ako sa bahay.

Alas-9 pasado nasa bahay pa din ako sa Makati. May inaantay ako bago ako tuluyangumuwi sa probinsya. Hindi ko nman maitext (nagtumbling kc kamakailan lang yung mobile phone ko, now im using a strange phone), kaya naisip ko na siya ang tawagan para hingan ng pabor. Nakalimutan ko ang landline number sa bahay nila (wala rin akong kopya), sinubukan kong patunugin yung cellphone niya baka sakaling maisipan niyang tumawag. Paglipas ng ilang minuto nakatanggap ako ng mensahe mula sa kanya.

“tumatawag ka? May prob ba? Nandito ako sa Boni nagvvijoke kami …”

Hindi ko na siya sinubukang tawagan, yung kuya ko nlang ang hiningian ko ng pabor.( may mga sumunod pang detalye..)

Ikaw? Nakukuha mo ba ang nararamdaman ko nung mga ors na iyon?

Nung isang lingo nagtatanung yung isa naming kaibigan kung bakit may tampo ako sa kanya. Ang sagot ko nlang sa kanya..

“kung mag ‘jowa’ kami matagal na kaming split. But in our case we’re friends”. (Magkaibigan kami)

Ang pagkakaibigan walang tinatawag na break-up. Walang cool-off. Hindi mo din masasabing “I had enough”.