I’ve been asked twice in one day which just happen a couple of days ago by those parents of two closest friend of mine in two different phase of time. A question, which I in fact never mind but closely I just realized how it really was. WOW! A question I have not in head at all.
They likewise asked me why I haven’t got my self a boyfriend yet. While on the other hand theirs are almost planning to get wed. Anyway the talked went so nicely and my dialogue falls like this…
“I don’t think I need to have one tita, I’m one of the boys and at the same time having fun with male friends were a lot of enjoyment rather than having just one that knots your neck. It gets me sick after my phone rings all day just to picked a message [just checking if you’re all right blah blah], when I’m pretty confident that I will surely be all right even without someone to monitor my actions. Okay! I know I’m helpless sometimes,, all right a lot I admit. Well that doesn’t change a thing. I’m a sweet lady not their ‘tamagochi’. Freak!! So I better decided to bug off from them.
I’m a hopeless romantic, I guess not that transparent but I am (is it abnormal?). I enjoy having all the time of my life with friends and family, and I know it feels so good to have somebody to share your happiness with and is willing to do the same for me. UNFORTUNETELY. All those nice things cannot be seen in just one guy.” (Then laugh..).
Until the night gets deeper and those conversation flashed my head once more, in an unlikely manner of asking my self “bakit nga ba?” although I know why (nakakainis noh?!). I’m 23, yet not getting any steady relationship. Though I got no prob with my previous boyfriend still we need to part ways for a serious good reason that in fact doesn’t affect my amity with him. We still communicate with each other meet every fine Friday with friends, and that’s all. I have no qualms with our past and with our decisions though I know I had let go of someone who actually has the power to make me happy, laugh, giggle and made me feel special in his own way.
Another guy in my mind was my second boyfriend. He’s reserve, proper and …boring. Obviously I really have no idea why he likes my kind. Ours did not end up that well, but as years goes by our indifference ended up being friends. He still feels the same old feeling he has for me way-back college. All right …it’s mutual. Sad, but I don’t afford keeping a long distance affair. He’s now settled in Venice holding a noble career. We talked over the phone once in a while and it makes us closer even more.
In picking up a beau you don’t only consider what’s inside your heart, more of it the head is still above your chest. So was that….
Actually I really am not dating any guy right now. For the first time in my life I’M NOT.
I heard the words ‘I love you’ several times. But the feelings are not much supportive of it. I could have at least given my self a chance of being loved fairly, worth-it and forever.
Why does some girls simply find their mr.right, and mine seems loosing his way locating my nest?
Is it really the one for them, or did I already miss the luck of opening my door for mr.right?
Whatever!!! I just hope I wouldn’t end up counting more years being asked by the same question above.
11/08'06
tinikyzda
