The best things said come last. I could talk for hours last night in front of everybody saying nothing much. Okay honestly, just crying because i'm a cry baby and then right after now is my time to linger at the door with words that come with a rush from this heart... no I can only write you a love letter... but this time a goodbye love letter.
I love you best. That's where I will begin. Because we couldn't be the best of friends without it. I love you maybe not everyday but when I'm with you I know love has just been sitting right in the corner of our hearts to flame it whenever we're with each other. I love that platonic kind, see I can easily write a love letter which is so hard to do whenever I'm pulling my self to make one for a prospect boyfriend. I guess we're really that click.
Click is when we easily became friends on our first day of freshmen years. Click to agree that we would enter and devote ourselves to a political party and all the things in between that dream of changing the world from its scar. Click that we even planned to pick the same anniversary for our then boyfriends. Click when to get loud and behave, when to be silly and then get serious, when to conquer our fears and when to sit down and planned for plan-b —no giving up... I guess that's the best part we clicked in every little deeds and we accept each other up to the little darkest flaws of ourselves. And I like you more and I love you more because of that. Because we both know, between the two of us I'm the one who wears that darkest and weakest soul. And I'm thankful that even though not physically you are always ever present in my side, in your heart I had always sit there. And me waiting to get that some time we could sit together and catch up the lost times. I had always like how it is for the two of us and eventually for the three of us. Now this is where we enter the love triangle stage. Ate doris finally arrive in our shell and I love it more that we became stronger and sillier and smarter whenever the three of us commune with each other.
I remember when I was a child I would wear my pashmina not in a way that it should cover my face in a hijab way but I will wore it like a nuns cornette.. I would show it to mom and she will gushed and will gesture her fingers to hush and to stop before papa will see me. Until then while growing and I reached highschool I chose to pick a school where the uniforms does look like a habit in blue color. So that's why I enrolled and finished highschool in Saint Mary's. I forgot about dreaming and copying the nun's image then, I does look like one in school but I totally forgot being one. What happened is my faith transformed to christianity... and that's all a plain christian believer. Finally I went to college, I met you and we became friends, close friends and then the best. And whenever I will look back to our freshmen days I can almost perfectly tell that you are leading that path. There's no denying that. Honestly, I like you because of that. Maybe it's not me becoming a nun or wanting to be, it's me growing with you, supporting you as you support me, and it's me being proud of what you are being called for. That is what He tells you, that is what His will. And you hear it, you bravely accept to vow with it, and I'm even proud becoming a part of that journey.
Now (I hope only for this moment) more than I love you, is a feeling of LOST. I MISS YOU even you haven't packed your bag yet. Selfish as I had always been when it comes to you, yes I will grandly miss you. You know I had always got jealous whenever you chose to be with someone other than me, that's why at some point I became a permanent fixture in your household, up to your family reunion, in your office afterwork gala, in your church programs, and forgive me m.com I randomly appear in some events because hell yeah I don't want to miss every moment that I can be with you. So maybe, that's what immature love is all about — selfish. I'm sorry.
And we're grown ups now, after fourteen years with you I wanted to act one now. That's why I opt not to talk last night because truth is I will just cry a river, an ocean and with a yolanda surge. I might find my self the only casualty from it. And I will again put your family in burden of taking care of this asthmatic respiratory that I'm always carrying with me. So better yet, write this love letter and cry a river in front of this laptop. Now, Im a bit sober from crying but at least I can still compose some words to send you off with this love and goodbye letter. Just at least I can send you off accordingly as I had been deprived to do this to the other special person who walked out of my life some months ago. I promise I will send you off and I will wait for our NEXT TIME.
I will miss you, our talks, our "kunchabahan", our day dreaming, our plan A-B-C, I will miss our movie time, beer time, wine time, whining time and winning time. I will miss how we get here, the memories of our fourteen years has been the best friendship in the making and I love it knowing you had been part of my backbone so I can always get up and get back on track everytime I'm down. And I love it whenever you share with me your lowest time not just the best times as well. I will miss every good times and bad times with you. I will miss the way we are not perfect as friends because that made us appreciate each other when we always tried to catch up and became the best. I love you best.
I know you had always dreamed of marrying Christ. We had always dreamed of marrying someone great as how we dream what guys should be. And I envy you, because you are so blessed to marry Christ. You had been a good friend, thus I know you will ever be as good when you get there. You will always excel because it's Christ will and it's Him you had always desire to gratify. You had lived your life fully and actually immeasurably useful It's time now to get it more meaningful and in chastity. I can't wait for the years to run fast and see how much you could make a change inside and out here. Christ needs you there as much as I selfishly thought that I need you here. But I know God will always provide whatever lacking in our lives that is justified in His eyes. I will turn everything to God now. Whichever path He'll bring us I know this is the right thing and the best thing for us to take.
I will remain here outside, moving forward. And you are moving with me because you will remain in my heart. And I know you will be moving and getting better inside. And I love thinking how we can surpass time with God's guidance. In God's grace the pieces of my breaking heart today will be whole by then. And no matter what, I will always be there with you. In our prayers I will always feel that at some point we are one. We can always look back to this part, shed a tear, and surely I will always say I LOVE YOU BEST and I Thank God that He without doubt lend a BLESSFRIEND to me including your bunch of family, I am so blessed for that but now its time to let go.. In God's will.
Our story is not a plain Hello and Goodbye. I promise I will always wait for our NEXT TIME.
Hasta la proxima vez.
~Bunnz262014
#I can't remember what I used to do
Who I trusted, who I listened to before
I swear you taught me everything I know
Can't imagine needing someone so
But through the years it seems to me
I need you more and more
Through the years, through all the good and bad
I KNOW how much we had, I've always been so glad
To be with you ... Through the years
It's better every day, you've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years.
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