PINK's FALL OF GRRRiN

I. 

Unlike lovers (as to what I also quoted from “Iyang Kaibigan Ko” blog), there are no break-ups in friendship. 

"We can work things out. I’m still your green friend, photographer, clown and partner in crime. Movie buddy and videoke duet.”111808. This is some part of the message I received from a friend whom for years had made a very special role in my life’s story. My best and greenest chum. Maybe true to some content from his messages that we are only being test by time and circumstances. That I also wanted to inculcate to my mind, since at this point of time my pride is swallowing my entire being. My spirit has being drifted away and just had let my ego to work on in this so called test.

I cannot elaborate more where this all has started.

I might start counting even those instances that had been

put to past or those times that I did not mind his “commitment sicknesses.” Now the “test” came along without any invitation. The past days has been good to us, that we get along as how we always work the day out over our schedules. Until the following day that had been disconcerting for me.

Well, that didn’t actually turned my nerves to crash and get heart harden for him. I just don’t want to easily grant him my “Okay na” mood.

As like the “Bunnz way.” I am attacking his text messages with response that

I know would pissed off his “huge kept patience.” Though were friends for almost

six years now, that bully side of me still works on him. But take note of the saying

“bring home the bacon.” it’s hard for me to do it. Get with you your brightest guess,

why he always end-up to be the winner between our fray.

1.) I easily drop my over-priced leading pride for him “in the name of bestfriendship in the world category,”

2.) he’ll tell me I’m adding up to his worries (ending I'm being the one asking for apology),

3.) he have this “his own green way” of saying the cheesiest sorry especially for you and

4.) “commitment sickness” again & again. And If I can just sue him for committing that crime to a friend, he’s now absolutely convicted with a “double jeopardy” case.

II .

[YOU HAD REACHED YOUR LIMIT ] 

Like the message prompt from the automated teller machine for banking transaction, it was the words that mumbled to my whispering tone voice after reading his message sent last Saturday. The fact that I shouldn’t be there (in the meeting place), because we’re not actually in good terms really turned my pride into a “fried asshole.” But, because of what my professional guardian angel tells my conscience “it’s business as usual.” So I made it to my commitment and asked my mom to dropped me off to Greenbelt for a business meeting sort of like. ONLY, to find out that my not so lovely day would turned out exactly wrecked *&$#@.

Though I rewarded my self of a great shopping that Saturday afternoon until the mall closes (thanks to the mall wide sale in Ayala Center), I only end up looking back to those superb buys and asked my self “haven’t I bought Happiness with me? —I’m broken and so was my pocket.” The only cure for me on that night was to go home in our province and be with my family.

The next day hadn’t turned well, still, though I received a text message from him containing his sort of apology. As I had said earlier, it was wrapped with the cheesiest words “the green way.”

……

Much has been said. I can’t pretend to be like a bottom-less ice tea with no limit of patience or go beyond pretension of not being affected at all. I am locked with this emotion (maybe for such time, i wish) that made me undergo under an emotional depression which I usually encountered during my childhood days. I need to do something, not maybe for friendship but for my self. These can make me whole and/or if not I can never get back to my own again.

One thing strike my mind during several sleepless nights now. I pictured one group scene where everyone joined the fun of defining love.

He said, 

"Love, it is loosing control."

And if I had been force to had my answer laid in the group, i’ll tell them,

“Love, it is compose of respect.”

That would carry and build your character in many principles of life. And that is my life's top principle,   —RESPECT.

Need I say more? like you almost always tell me that you love me (well we know we love each other. we're bestfriends right?).

with that, I rest my case.

______________________________________________________

“It’s sad to know that there won’t be anymore times of texting U like d same old days about me & u, urs & my plans, ur sadness & my fears and even my wicked actions. No more overnights, music & laughters to share w/. Thinking I would be alone or w/ somebody elses side inside d church or d movie house. And those pictures that I love to share & add more would now be going to be old w/ it’s memories... and d hardest part of it is getting my way of putting U out of my head and d thought of it alone—is not only nerve breaking… it's tearing my soul apart.

But I guess that could be my only way so to end d chance of pain. 111808

Will I ever make my day the way I live before? knowing part of my being has now come to missing. A friend whom I always used to share a lot in me and simply that someone I am used to be. (-_-)

Life can’t really be fair as how we all wish it should be.

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pink's fall of grrrin